My goal has never been to pass but rather be seen as a stylish crossdressser and accepted for that. My drive to crossdress has never been about blending but rather dedicated to dressing up not down. Growing up seeing women dressed elegantly in dresses and high heels with hosiery of course gave me my challenges. Last week I went with my BFF Ashley to one of our favorite restaurants in Orange County California where we are always very well received. Not trying to fool anybody pays off and I believe we are seen as stylish crossdresser’s.
When it was time for us to leave Ashley led off but I dropped my napkin on the floor and stooped down to pick it up. When I stood I was looking at a couple were seated across from us so I smiled then the gentleman complimented me on my looks and said my jewelry was beautiful. I thanked him (in my male voice) and he did not react so I did not pass. Given his compliments and lack of shock I think he knew all along but wanted to compliment a stylish crossdresser. Mission accomplished for me!
Saturday night was at one of our usual haunts that I had to put together on short notice. It’s comfortable for us and they comfortable with a stylish crossdresser hanging out there. I originally had a new spot reserved that I discovered a few months back but they called me and cancelled saying they were remodeling? It was kind of weird so I thought maybe they saw chicladies.org on my e-mail and didn’t want us there. If so their loss because it was a chance to meet not just one elegant stylish crossdresser but two.
I fell in love with the top I am wearing in the picture above because of the pattern along with the fit. I know I achieved the stylish crossdresser goal again because I received several compliments on it. I have one in solid black also which I like even better because it goes with so many outfits.
Crossdressing with friends is something that I always look forward to. Especially because most all of them are members of my crossdressing club CHIC. Although the ages of members vary the common interests of crossdressing and wives bridge the age gap. Our August regular club meeting had a small turnout due to vacations and the same applied to the Friday night gathering. There were only three of us crossdressing with friends on Friday night, but it was really special. Natasha & Meridith joined me at one of our regular restaurants. What made it special was that although I have known them for many years we were always in a large group. With so many people participating in the conversation it limits what you really learn about people.
Friday nights crossdressing with friends Natasha and Meridith gave me an opportunity to learn more about them on a personal level. Knowing the restaurant owner pays off because they gave us a great table in the bar area and did not rush us. Besides comparing notes on our crossdressing evolution and other personal experiences growing up were shared. It always fascinates me when you reach the level of trust with crossdresser friends that you feel comfortable sharing your personal life. Sometimes I am very surprised at people’s backgrounds and experiences because I only knew them from crossdressing. That does not give you any indication of who they are the other 29 days of the month.
Crossdressing with friends who present very well in public does not give any clue about their life away from crossdressing. I won’t divulge Natasha’s details but others I have known had very interesting stories. Over the years I have been crossdrerssing with friends who were airline pilots, military officers, surgeons, lawyers, television actors, radio show hosts, policemen, firefighters, scientists, Engineers, construction workers, and teachers just to name a few. What’s remarkable is how similar each of our stories are regardless of where you lived as a child.
This personal interaction with crossdressing friends is what makes belonging to a club so rewarding for myself and the other members. Many of the friendships in CHIC have lasted decades.
Classic Curves International is going strong and operating as usual despite the loss of its founder Espy Lopez. I spoke with family members who have been running the company while Espy was sick, and they are committed to keeping the company going. That’s great news because all Classic Curves International products are made from the highest quality materials. Better yet everything they sell is %100 made in the United States. That’s important to those of us who wish to buy American instead of China.
I have had Classic Curves International gel hip pads for like 30 years from back when Espy first developed them. I think Espy was the first one to offer her pads in gel along with her original foam pads. Hers are the 1st ones I ever heard of and actually predate the internet I believe. Spanx Girl Shorts are what I use to keep them in place instead of the garment they sell. It allows me to adjust the pads where I want them instead of relying on the garment pockets.
Two criticisms I have heard regarding gel pads is that they are too heavy, but you don’t notice it. Holding them in your hands its noticeable but not when you’re wearing them. This is because wearing the girl short pushed the pad against your hip. That along with a tiny bit of perspiration where they touch your skin which is also not noticeable hold them in place. You are not aware of how much your leg weighs unless you lift it up and the same goes for the pads.
The advantage of using Classic Curves International gel pads over foam pads is that they are very realistic and won’t break down over time. Every time I wash them the old stickiness comes right back. The pads below are mine and have been on many adventures over the years.
They also are tear resistant and mine have scratches but no tears. They have never been in a fire despite how they look. The second criticism is that they are too expensive I originally invested $250.00 for the pads so over 30 years they cost me $8.34 per year. I have no doubt they will last another 30 years. You get what you pay for as the saying goes.
Classic Curves International gel pads are worth every dollar you spend. They are an investment in your crossdresser presentation.
Crossdresser health concerns or, how does a crossdresser deal with needing medical care. The answer may be obvious depending on if you have insurance or not. Where I am going with this is, do you tell your doctor about your crossdressing? In my case I only did it once after securing her word she would not share anything we discussed. Sure, over the years I had health concerns but because I shaved my body, they had to wait until summer when things grew out. The older I got the more dangerous this approach became because crossdresser health concerns are no different than non-crossdresser concerns. The older you get the more doctors you meet so I needed to have a plan for possible lack of hair questions.
I have wondered over the years just exactly how the HIPPA laws work with crossdressers health concerns. The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 (HIPPA) The short answer is you have a level of privacy protection provided by HIPPA. The law covers many areas, and I chose not to read the whole thing, but you can by following this link HIPPA. I took an easier route and asked one of my trusted crossdresser friends who is a doctor.
Below is my question.
If you tell your doctor that you are a crossdresser are they and staff bound to secrecy? I am fine but, in the past, I have delayed physicals and dermatologist exams until my hair grew out. I’m thinking that going forward that is going to be a bad idea cuz I ain’t got that much time left on the calendar of life.
She told me they cannot divulge your medical information including shaved legs since you crossdress. Doctors in general are professional and will not judge. If you are that worried, you can ask them not to put it in your chart.
So, the crossdresser health concern plan now is to shave year-round. Should the question come up, I will answer that it’s not important! If I’m uncomfortable I will ask them not to put it in my chart.
It’s possible that I am paranoid about all this but if it helps just one person it’s worth writing.
Crossdresser rendezvous are still very common with gurlz in various places getting together in both large and small groups. It seems over the years that its more the latter as people’s lives drift apart. Crossdresser clubs sadly are on the decline making it a bit more challenging to meet new friends. This month’s adventure had only 3 of us Friday night and from 3 different states all rendezvousing in Long Beach. Things are much safer now so you can go out in smaller groups without being harassed but you still need to be aware.
A crossdresser rendezvous with a small group works better if you have familiar surroundings. We picked our regular hangouts for both nights on this trip. The neighborhood is a mix of commercial and residential and one of the streets is one way and police cars pass by often.
Another nice thing about doing a crossdresser Rendezvous for out-of-town gurlz is that the local gurl or gurlz act as the host in most cases. They pick a safe comfortable place for the meeting so everyone can relax.
Our crossdresser club CHIC will be celebrating our 50TH anniversary in 2025 and many members have moved out of state over the years. They continue their membership but don’t attend more than a few meetings each year. Others travel for business or have the means to travel to meetings more regularly, so crossdresser rendezvous are more frequent.
There are larger crossdresser rendezvous typically held at conventions like DIVA LAS VEGAS held in October in Las Vegas. It’s a great place to establish contacts with others who crossdress but there are all kinds of other folks attending too. Many attendees have been coming for over 10 years and look forward to seeing old friends.
Unfortunately, there are only a few large crossdresser gatherings each year today. In the early to mid 90’s there were several to choose from each month. San Francisco, Los Angeles, Denver, Dallas, Atlanta, Boston, Harrisburg, Las Vegas and New York just to mention a few. Now I think it’s just Boston, Harrisburg and Las Vegas remaining.
DIVA I believe is the largest of the conventions still going and is a less structured event held in October just before Halloween this year. To meet others, you need to sign up for as many events as possible because they are scattered around town. Some might be happening at the same time so choose carefully.
The event is reasonably priced and it’s a good way to venture out for beginners. Especially with their BIG SISTER program designed for beginner’s or just timid folks.
Young crossdressers can and should learn from those who came before them. I found a movie on Amazon about a series of letters written in the 1950’s and 1960’s between Female Impersonators.
They also called themselves Feminine Mimic’s long before the term Drag Queen existed. young crossdressers might get in trouble for using that term today.
Actually, some of the performers that were interviewed don’t care to be labeled as Drag Queens. They note the difference between their efforts to be as beautiful and feminine as possible. If not passable at least being as glamorous a look as they could put together.
They were imitating or mimicking females whereas today Drag Queens are more flamboyant with entertainment being the goal of both. All of them had a sense of humor when it came to selecting their names. Young crossdressers might be able to appreciate the difference in styles.
It is not the label differences that I think young crossdressers will benefit from but what any guy in a dress went through on those days. The movie is based on a box of letters discovered in 2014 in a garage between friends from New York to one in Hollywood. They are dead serious when they say please burn the letter after reading because the content could be very damaging. Big problems were possible for people thought to be Gay in that era and a guy in a dress would qualify as Gay no matter what he said. There is even a statement by one person interviewed where he was told not to turn around with his back to the bar. If the New York police came into the bar and saw, you are facing the room they would arrest you for solicitation of prostitution. Something we do freely today like going out in public dressed as a woman for dinner, drinks, or shopping today. In those days you risked your future even if you were on your way to a party in a private home. That was pre–Stonewall Riot days so you can see why they got fed up.
Besides fighting for the freedoms, we all enjoy today those gals had to be clever because there was no internet or crossdresser boutiques back then. They had to innovate big time to achieve feminine look. Ever hear of birdseed in a baggy for breast forms? It works but back in those day there was no such thing as a baggy, they weren’t invented yet! An old stocking would have to do. Hip pads used wadding from the sewing section of the department store.
They did an amazing job.
Old and young crossdressers will enjoy the movie.
Click on the picture above for a link to Amazon Prime.
Crossdresser goodbye is something that occurs every day around the world and has been with us forever. I am not trying to be dramatic with this introduction, it’s just that I don’t know any other way to put it. I use the term crossdresser goodbye to address something I have both experienced and observed for many years. When a crossdresser passes away in most cases they just vanish never being heard from again. In my observation their friends are not invited to the funeral. In many cases even made aware of the crossdresser’s passing. I have seen e-mails from people searching for information on a crossdresser who stopped responding to e-mails. They are concerned and reaching out to anyone who might have some information on their friend. Most never know what happened, no crossdresser goodbye just wondering. Being a member of a group or social club where people know each other’s private lives. Especially, if they socialize away from crossdressing makes information more available. I think in the majority of cases the crossdresser simply vanishes, so friends and acquaintances eventually assume they have passed. They deserve better but that’s just the way it is there is no crossdresser goodbye.
Last month I learned of my friend Espy Lopez passed away after a long illness. She was a friend for over 30 years, and I was fortunate to be in the loop of friends who were notified. Espy and I did not have matching tattoos or anything but shared growing up just 6 months apart in Southern California in the 1960’s heyday. In addition to the closeness in age we were both crossdresser’s which created somewhat of a bond. In those days there was no pride, stonewall or anything like today. A guy sharing with another guy that you were a crossdresser created a mutual vulnerability. Both of us were employed in the aerospace industry and would probably lose our jobs if word got out. We met in the early 1990’s when she was assigned to interview me for membership in CHIC where she was a member. We remained friends ever since although seeing less of each other in recent years. It was during that interview when I learned of Espy’s military background of which she was justifiably proud.
During the interview she shared her service as a U.S. Army Ranger in Vietnam, and I believe she said two tours of duty. I remember seeing a picture of her in uniform on a table in her home. Her uniform was covered with emblems and ribbons I am not familiar with. It was clear that she was an accomplished soldier.
Another of her accomplishments was her company Classic Curves international that has been around for over 30 years. She started with hip/ butt pads to give guys curves. Back then crossdressers were using an electric carving knife borrowed from mom or the wife. They carved up a foam furniture seat pad to make hip pads. When I asked her how she figured it out she explained how she used a computer at work to overlay a male image over a female image. It showed where a guy needed padding and how much. She noted that a woman’s shoulders and hips were close in size. She measured your shoulders which is how she knew what to make for you. At first, she had you come to her shop with your favorite dress so she could custom shape the foam pads to you. Putting on protective gloves taped to her arms along with an industrial breathing filter the process began. She turned on the industrial sanding machine and began to contour the foam pad to your shape with fit checks from time to time. You left with an amazing figure. Ever the inventor she kept thinking of ways to improve the product and gel pads came a year or so later. By now she had progressed to using molds to cast the pads in several sizes which fit most guys just fine. I have one of the first sets of gel molded pads that she made in her shop with another invention she conceived to heat the silicone. It looked like one of the old Igloo coolers common on construction sites which was a galvanized steel barrel. Espy modified it to cook silicone and poured me a set of pads on the spot which, I still have and use today.
If you go to her site Classic Curves International, you will see how her company evolved with more clever products over the years. Espy through her company, products, and outreach to others via phone or at one of the many conventions she did make a wonderful contribution to the Trans community.
She will be remembered fondly by myself and others every time we pad up to go out En Fem for an evening out. Espy was a pioneer in the crossdresser padding industry with her veteran owned American made products.
Crossdressers interact with civilians from time to time and some more than others. If you go out in public crossdressed like I do meeting civilians is a certainty. You may not have a conversation experiencing only eye contact, but you need to think about how to handle it. Long ago I took the look them in the eye and smile approach which has always served me well. Last Friday night was no exception, but the outcome surprised me just the same. Seven of us crossdressers interact with civilians who were in town for the monthly Saturday night CHIC meeting so we headed over to a favorite restaurant for dinner. Like our other venues it is a mainstream upscale restaurant where we are definitely in the minority. That said, we are well known by the owner and staff which sends a signal to the other patrons that we are accepted. COOL!
BFF Ashley, my guest Sherri and I arrived via UBER greeting Mario the owner out front when we arrived. After we hugged, I introduced him to Sherri who had never been there before. Then we joined the others who were at the bar but opted to go to the table early due to lack of bar seating available.
I followed the hostess to our table taking a seat at the end looking out the window to the courtyard. There was a 50ish couple seated at the window in my field of vision so eye contact with the woman was inevitable. It was time for crossdressers interact with civilians. I smiled at her several times, but she was expressionless. It was more like she was observing rather than communicating with her eyes, so I got involved with my group conversation. Her male companion looked over once then looked away with no expression obviously unimpressed. In situations where I don’t have a feel for what the civilian is thinking I end the contact.
Conversing with my gurlz I lost track of time when I was surprised by a gentle touch on my shoulder. The expressionless woman was telling me how she loved my hairstyle and how great a choice it was for me. She told me how the color was perfect, and the cut was flattering for me. I thanked her for her compliments, and she said good night. Even though it started a bit mysterious my crossdressers interact with civilians worked out wonderfully.
The picture above was taken Friday night back at our hotel where Sherri and I went to the patio bar for a nightcap. It was taken by two ladies we met on the patio as we were leaving. That makes two crossdresser interact with civilians in the same night. This encounter was different because although I saw them sit behind us with two other younger women, we had no contact. I was not even aware that the younger ones had left. When we stood up, they spoke to us, and I was so surprised I don’t even remember what they said. They were curious about us and had questions which we did our best to answer. We pretty much covered everything heterosexual married crossdresser, DRAG QUEENS, Gay, Transgender’s Transsexual’s my club CHIC. They are left very well-informed civilians.
Saturday night it was more crossdressers interactions with civilians but nothing like Friday. I received compliments on my new wig debuting on that night but not on a par with the night before.
The wig I am wearing above Saturday night is actually darker in the back than Friday’s. Its deceptive because both of them are very light in the front so they look very similar.
Saturday night was special though on several levels beginning with our group being larger than normal with 20 attendees. We took up the whole west end of the restaurant with a long table. I have intentionally blurred the faces of those who have not given permission to post pictures of them. Seven of the attendees were wives accompanying their crossdresser husbands.
When I sat at the bar before dinner it was next to the same woman, I did a year ago. She naturally remembered me DUH! I stand out but I remember her because she was Asian with an accent and a low voice. Both crossdressers civilian interact with her were challenging because of my hearing and her accent but we did well.
So, in two consecutive nights I had three wonderful crossdressers interact with civilians. It was very rewarding, and I went to bed with a smile on my face that night.
Crossdresser nails are a must have to achieve that fabulous female presentation. They add that extra unmistakable feminine touch which completes your elegant look. For many years I used a process where I glued my nails on with DAP Contact cement featured on my CROSSDRESSER FAKE FINGERNAILS PAGE. It worked well for the most part but there were some drawbacks. Recently I read an article on crossdresser nails written by one of my CHIC Sorority sisters Erica. She shared a process she uses to attach her nails using press on gel tabs that stay on for days. I was intrigued because years ago I used Sally Hansen press on tabs that lasted minutes, so I dumped them.
This old dog might be able to learn a new trick and be well served to give her process a shot. I ordered some and took them with me to Las Vegas last week. I wanted to try them out but brought my contact cement with me just in case.
I put them on Monday night and was really impressed with the holding power of the gel tabs. Not one problem with lifting or loosening throughout the evening. I decided to leave them on all night because we were going shopping the next day and see how many got through the night. In the morning they were all there just as tight as the night before.
So far so good but putting on my shape wear, butt pads, and breast forms would be a real test. No problems at all although putting on make required some adjustments to my routine. I was actually ready ahead of schedule getting ready then went to lunch and shopping. Back at the hotel I changed clothes to go out that evening and my crosssdresser nails were intact. I even was complimented by a gentleman at the bar over my lovely nails.
Vegas crossdressed is always an adventure and this week’s trip was no exception, think crowded! When I first decided to make the trip, Easter did not enter my mind, but I wish it had. Everyplace was crowded even during the high wind warnings on Monday. Going outside in Vegas crossdressed had an additional challenge this week, WIND. After spending some time Monday night doing my hair getting my newest wig just right. The wind restyled it for me which I call hair by hurricane. Our plan was to take UBER from the Cromwell Hotel Valet which is sheltered from the wind to the lower level of the Forum Shops also sheltered. UBER moved their drop off point and refused to go down below so we had to walk out in the open. Fortunately, I was able to get my hair almost back to the way I had it before we made our grand appearance at The Palm Restaurant. We had a great dinner with a booth on the side about the middle of the restaurant facing everyone.
Being in Vegas crossdressed is pretty well accepted and even though we are overdressed people seem to be fine with it. Tuesday, we went to the mall for some shopping but found very little of interest. We rendezvoused at the Bound Bar in the back of the Cromwell Hotel for a drink before dinner. We met a nice young couple from Birmingham England who came to Vegas to get married earlier in the week. The wife gave us tons of compliments on our looks and had no clue when my BFF Ashley showed up that was a CD.
They bought our drinks and we chatted for a while before heading off the Del Frisco’s for dinner. I love Del Frisco’s but was disappointed with our table which was in sort of a overflow dinning room. The atmosphere is better in the main dinning room across from the bar which has a better vibe. The food was still great and our servers exceptional even remembering us from a previous visit.
Wednesday night our Vegas crossdressed adventure broke in a new restaurant off the strip called Piero’s Italian Cuisine. Its where some of the movie Casino with Sharon Stone and Robert Din Ero was filmed. The Cosmo’s are lethal and the food fantastic with very generous portions in addition to a very good server JR. He took very good care of us throughout the evening.
After dinner the two lovely hostesses were kind enough to take a bunch of pictures of me as we left.
