I went to a lovely party last Saturday night hosted by two of my fellow CHIC members in their new home. Their home overlooks the ocean but it was about 40 miles from where I was staying for the weekend. I decided to rent a hotel room close by rather than drive back to where I was staying. Several things contributed to my decision besides drinking at the party. I was wearing a red blazer and high heels which would not help my field sobriety test although I would look great.
The big decision was do I get ready then drive to the party dressed or pack everything I need and get ready at the hotel? Knowing it was a virtual certainty that I would leave at least one crucial item behind I opted to get ready then drive to the party. Where the “You’ve come a long way baby” comes in is that I did it in broad daylight. Twenty years or so back I would never have considered it but, my confidence has steadily grown over the years.
I wore a black knit skirt with a black vee neck tank under a red one button blazer. Black patent 3 1/2 inch pumps and nude stockings with an over sized black patent purse. I also wore by Godiva’s Secret short blonde wig with roots. Most CHIC members attending wore red dresses along with the hosts. After checking the bag of guy stuff I was taking for the morning after the party 30 times to make sure I had everything I was off. I strutted through lobby of hotel #1 around 4:00pm waving at the desk clerks as my heels clicked on the floor.
The drive down went great toll booths and all and now it was time for another decision. Do I check in to hotel #2 first then go to the party of wait until after the party. Even though my confidence is at an all time high checking in around eleven thinned out the guests in the lobby and made more sense.
After the party I headed for the hotel found a parking place and walked to the front door. I had to stand there waiting for a minute or so because you need either a room key or wait to be buzzed in. They opened the door and welcomed me in saying hello mam can I help you. I replied yes and gave them the name the reservation was under along with a credit card in a fem name. He then asked for me ID and I complied giving him my real driver license. He glanced at them both then returned them saying “sign here sir”. I thought about correcting him but I thought it was so funny that he switched pronouns without missing a beat.
The next morning I showered and left as Duke meeting up with two other CHIC members for a round of golf as guys. I think the hotel staff is still looking for the attractive blonde to come down stairs.
Wives are a blessing for many of us crossdrssers lucky enough to have one willing to attempt to understand us. It is not an easy task but so much appreciated to be sure. More on CROSSDRESSER WIVES page.
This being February let me say a big
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!
I have had the pleasure of knowing some wives personally and observed them in action helping their husbands. They take the pressure out of difficult things for crossdressers to do. Buying clothing, hosiery, under garments, and wigs are simple for her. Embarrassing and nerve racking for him especially if he is trying to figure out what to buy.
There is a lot more to a successful marriage than shopping for your crossdresser husband or having a wife that will do it. Having one that will help you though is priceless and husbands appreciate it a great deal.
I shop for myself mostly these days but the lessons I learned are what has given me the confidence to do it correctly. It wasn’t always that way and I shudder to think what that sales lady was thinking when she checked me out. Little things like if that bra is for him he’ll be back tomorrow because it is too small. That wig color is going to look terrible on him.
I have wasted a ton of money learning the hard way like the short wig experiment that looked like a hairy kids football helmet on a giant. Then there was the sexy jet black Page Boy wig that made me look like Dracula with my pale skin. The slinky tight sheath dress that made me look like a Shar-pei dog in DRAG was a winner also. Then there was my Geisha look when my foundation was 10 shades too light and Godzilla followed me home.
Makeup is the number one area of interest to crossdresser’s whether they are just starting out or have been at it for a while. I am not a big fan of trying to pass because I don’t think it is achievable for most of us. One thing is for sure though without it you have no chance of passing. After a bit of work I have updated the Crossdresser Makeup page with more detailed instruction and new pictures. I hope the illustrations and procedure make sense to you. I am attempting to give the reader more of a step by step tutorial along with product pictures.
My procedure has sped up my makeup time considerably by simplifying the process. It emphasizes doing the areas that are the most difficult first. The eyes have the most detail with multiple different products and techniques applied in a confined area. Doing them first allows you to make corrections without screwing up your foundation or contouring.
Women’s clothing for crossdressers is not as simple as it may seem there is much to consider depending what your goals are. Are you trying to pass as a woman in public or just blend in without attracting attention? Either way what you should wear depends where you intend to wear it. Summer in Las Vegas or winter in Seattle will be very different in addition to day or evening, casual or formal. Once you have all that sorted out now comes the difficult part which is what looks good on you.
Another school of thought is I don’t care how it looks I just want to wear it. Those in this category buy what they want, wearing it where ever they want, when ever they want. Maybe they are fetish or exhibitionist crossdressers so it is the article of women’s clothing that is important not passing. From my experience it takes them about a half hour to get ready to go out. If I see them coming I cross to the other side of the street and look the other way.
My goal is to look good passable or not and want to achieve it every time I present in public. Most women wear toned down makeup for daytime along with lower heels or flats. Jewelry is minimal and not flashy. Pants are preferred with tank tops weather permitting over dresses and skirts. A long sleeve blouse or light jacket over the top of the tank. Everything in the casual range like most everyone else. The fabrics and colors should be subtle and fit properly. For daywear looking good depends on your choices.
I gave up passing a long time ago and concentrate on blending in to some degree . Maybe trying not standing out so much would be a better choice of words. I am under six feet but over 200 lbs. so I try to look thinner dressing in layers and dark colors. Light blue jeans and white blouse with a dark open jacket is very slimming. The viewers eye will focus on the what blouse and the vertical lines created by the jacket. I have switched to shorter hair teased high on the top making me a little taller but thinner too.
When crossdressed I am always in skirts and sometimes dresses with hose and heels. The skirt is usually a lighter color than the top or jacket. The top is usually solid black with a vertical zipper unzipped to the breast. If I wear a blazer normally it is a one button so the deep Vee accentuates the vertical slenderizing lines.
Dark colors on the upper body make it appear slimmer while lighter colors on the lower body are only for contrast. Crossdressers typically are slender below even after adding hip pads. I always wear heels at night. Normally 3 1/2 inch heels and rarely 4 inch depending on the occasion.
Some crossdressers have broad shoulders (ME) so dark colors on top will make them seem narrower. Horizontal stripes will make my shoulders seem wider so I keep the stripes below the waist. Square neck lines or off the shoulder looks create the same horizontal line problem again. Scoop or Vee neck tops work great along with scarves, anything that creates a vertical line.
Tight is different than fitted which contours the body leaving room where needed. Tight is absolutely form fitting which some call body con because it hugs every curve on the body. I can’t remember ever being able to get away with this look and am too old for it now anyway. If the crossdresser is built slender with little or no muscle definition many can get away even if they are older. Most men are muscular to some degree and if they are well defined this tight look will give you away. People will see muscles first and look closer to see if it is one of those body builder women. Most will see a muscular guy in women’s clothing. Fitted makes more sense unless attention is your goal.
Designers of women’s clothing have a target market they expect to sell to so the colors, cut, patterns and over all style are geared to a certain group. The younger the woman the tighter the look and the more skin shows with the size range being limited to smaller sizes. When the age increases less skin shows, the hemlines drop and the sizes increase along with the prices. I have heard it said that your age plus or minus a decade is a good rule of thumb and I think I follow it at least to some degree. I am over 60 so I might change my mind in a few years.
When you are out in public dressed in women’s clothes people will form an impression of you based on what they observe. If you wish to influence that impression as I do then you will plan what you wear accordingly. In my case the goal is to have women be impressed by my sense of style in the clothing that I choose. To be appreciate my hair and makeup presentation knowing what it takes to get there. Finally to have an overall impression of class and elegance of me. Not saying I get there but that is what I work for none the less. Men notice too but are not interested in me or my presentation which is perfect because I have no interest in them either.
In contrast if I wore blue eyeshadow, bright red lipstick, a red and white tube top with horizontal stripes and a Kardashian style skin tight mini skirt. A pair of platform heels and fingernails that extend an inch beyond my normal nails. Topped off with a long platinum blonde wig cascading down over and beyond my shoulders. My target audience would most likely be repulsed and very likely angry thinking I was mocking them. Men might not be able to resist ridiculing me and feeling they had a license to do so based on my presentation.
I hope this is useful especially to those just venturing out for the first time and they find some women’s clothing they can feel good in.
Hold your head up, point your toes, be safe, and go enjoy yourself in the New Year.
I have heard about the City of Portland Oregon being very crossdresser friendly from folks on YELP last year. I knew there were crossdressers there but did not have a solid feel for it.
Ms. Micki became a member of the Vanity Club this year which opened access to crossdresser VC members in the area. Carolyn a local member graciously agreed to meet me for diner on Friday night and gave me some pointers on the area.
Micki Finn takes to the road
I stayed at a hotel I had been scoping out for sometime and was not disappointed at all because it lived up to my expectations.
The Hotel Deluxe was built in the early 1900’s but is meticulously maintained. The Deluxe promotes a theme of the glory days of Hollywood throughout the facility.
From the Deluxe lobby to the halls on every floor old Hollywood is the prevailing thought every where you look. Pictures adorn every available wall and speak elegance everywhere.
The food was excellent and the service was quick in addition to friendly.
Once the doorman opens the front entrance you are greeted by impressive stairs leading to the lobby where the Hollywood theme takes over.
Micki was the only crossdresser there and as usual over dressed for the occasion. I think given the theme of the hotel I should be looked at as an example of properly attire for a lady in the hotel. The weather was in the 50’s but most ladies were casual in booties and quilted coats. That doesn’t work for this it’s always dress up time for Mz Micki.
The Driftwood Room bar was of course my favorite place in the hotel with a very friendly staff. The bartenders made sure that I never had an empty glass. ( God I love that) The bartenders also make a great Cosmo. The staff takes the time to chat and make sure that you are having an enjoyable experience. That is one of the big reasons I stay in Boutique hotels almost exclusively. The room reminds me of the fancy restaurants I went to as a kid in Hollywood.
The Driftwood Room
I just thought this elevator was so cool with Mother of Pearl inlays made from Abalone shells and deep black lacquer walls. I felt like such a star!
I just returned from a trip to one of my most favorite cities San Francisco with my BFF Ashley. We both crossdressed and met up with two of my Vanity Club crossdresser sisters Kelli and Diane. Diane lives in town but Kelli drove some distance to meet us at our hotel for drinks.
We Uber’d up then we went for dinner at Waterbar Restaurant. Water Bar specializes in seafood and it is the best along with the service. We got an awesome table next to the window with views of the harbor and Bay Bridge. The ambiance is wonderful with large 2 story column aquariums filled with large salt water fish.
This picture with my new short wig was taken in the Warwick Regis Hotel lobby while waiting for the other girls to meet me in the bar for cocktails.
I don’t do crossdressed pictures too often but, this one taken in the hotel lobby with the bar in the background. San Francisco is a special place so I make an exception while there.
I bought the Moto jacket this last summer but had the skirt already and fortunately the zippers matched. San Francisco is the most friendly place to crossdress in my experience anyway. I am crossdressed the entire time that I am there usually and shop to my hearts content.
Shopping while crossdressed is no big deal with Macy’s and the other stores in Union Square. I would recommend wearing flats though because the hills are killer for heels.
For years my wife and others suggested my wearing a short wig for various reasons. I know many CD’s that wear short wigs but never liked them for me.
A few years back I purchased short wig from a wig ostensibly for my wife. The woman dutifully sold me the one I liked in the wrong size and color for me but, then again it was for my wife right? I took it home, tried it on and scared the hell out of myself.
Had I been honest with the sales person and told her I was a CD she might have suggested something else. Maybe she would have told me that a jet black page boy would show every wrinkle in my pale skin. She might have told me it was too small making me look like a gear shift knob.
Do it right
She would have measured my head for the correct size and chosen a color to compliment my skin tone. She might have talked me into a short wig properly sized and shaped for my head. I was too embarrassed to tell her it was for me back then so I did it the hard way. Also the wig was parted down the middle so the hair covered part of my eyes and the curved ends kept falling in my mouth. I tried again some years later with a color that was better but the style looked like a football helmet on me.
Fast forward 30 years and I found one that I liked so I bought another one in a different color. The style is Freedom by Godiva’s Secret Wigs located in Southern California but they have a website. I am now a confirmed CD wearing a short wig all the time.
What I like about the wig besides the cut is it comes in a large size (23 inch diameter) the length I need. The nape down the back is is about 2.5 inches and there is enough hair on top to style it high. Increased height adds length to my face and gives the appearance of narrowing it. The wig is also their own brand and very good quality. It is the only brand that they sell.