Crossdresser bathroom? Not really, it was the ladies room at the hotel I was staying at and yes I did go in. The problem never escapes us and is always a delicate situation to handle. Diva Las Vegas is just three weeks away and everyone who attends the event is going to have to make some decisions on where to take care of business. San Francisco, Portland, Seattle and long Beach California are places that I feel comfortable using the ladies room while crossdressed. Crossdresser bathroom doesn’t exist as an option so you have choices to make depending on where you are when the need arises.
The picture above was taken on the second floor of the hotel in a very low traffic area. My own room is my first preference but if I am away from my hotel I look for the most isolated ladies room I can find. Most hotels don’t have a crossdresser bathroom but, if they have banquet or large meeting rooms bathrooms will be close by. If no events are going on the bathrooms are usually open and empty. Gender neutral is a great option but they are few and far between and I have only seen one or two in my travels.
Even if the ladies room is empty when you go in don’t dally, read a magazine, or re do your makeup. In and out is the best approach to avoid problems with women who might take issue with you being there. I am not sure about the laws in Las Vegas so I will try to use my room most of the time just so I don’t have to worry. I don’t pass as a woman and most CD’s don’t no matter how good they think they look so I don’t take chances. Las Vegas has no shortage of meeting facilities so that would be preference number two. I also keep my eyes open when walking around to find suitable places before the need arises
Friday night cross-dressed before the February CHIC meeting my usual dinner mates were not able to come out and play. I was going it alone so I picked a restaurant that was comfortable for me sitting by myself. Going cross-dressed solo is not an issue for me because I have done it many times but, security is always an issue no matter where I go. Some places are better than others and I never go anyplace that I consider dangerous but, need to feel safe. I always go to mainstream establishments that I know to be accepting and this night it was a place I gone to for years. I know the owner and most of the staff so there are plenty of people to chat with and Sammy the bartender makes my favorite Cosmo for me.
DINNER CROSS DRESSED
UBER picked me up at the hotel and I was off to the restaurant about 5 miles away. Entering the restaurant the hostess was all smiles and gave me a warm greeting. The bar was full so I took a high table for two by the window and ordered my Cosmo. Not long afterward my favorite spot at the bar opened up so I moved. Mario the owner spotted me and came over to chat and eventually sat down next to me so we could talk a little business. I ordered the sliced steak on an bed of mushroom risotto which is a favorite of mine.
Several women in their late 40′ / early 50′ were sitting at the far end of the bar and looked me over cross-dressed but we never spoke. A couple in their 40’s came and sat on the other side of on the other side of Mario whom they new. The woman was wearing a tight dress and 4 inch stilettos so naturally I approved of her style choices. We mad brief casual eye contact a couple of times but I made no attempt to speak with her. They were drinking quit a bit and guy she was with was pretty loud. He could misunderstand my being cross-dressed if I initiated any conversation so as usual I minded my own business.
Around eleven o’clock the loud guy and his girlfriend were leaving and said goodby to Mario with her in the lead. As she passed me she put her hand on my should and said “you look gorgeous” I thanked her and she walked out the door. Next the boyfriend comes over and says hi and introduces himself and shakes my hand. After I give him my name he says “you look beautiful tonight” and walks out the door. I don’t remember his name because I was still glowing form her compliments and thankful he was not jealous punching me in the nose.
About 11:30 I decide its time for miss Micki to head back to the hotel for my Cosmo nightcap. I say goodbye to Mario and the staff and head for the ladies room to take care of business along with checking my makeup. All systems are go so I head out the door past the ladies who were at the other end of the bar all night. They were taking a cigarette break and we said hello as I walked past to the corner.
I was checking my phone for UBER’s arrival when all four walked down to the corner where I was standing. Each one tells me how pretty I look one elaborating on my whole outfit. She tells me that she loves my entire out fit complimenting me on my accessories and sense of style. She asked who did my nails, makeup, and hair to which I answered I did. All four were surprised at my answer and more compliments followed.
I was wearing my black moto jacket and matching skirt with gold zipper accents on both. The accessories that they liked so much were earring and a gold watch but the chain bracelets were what really caught their attention. The reason she did not recognize them was because I cut down necklaces to make them. You can read more on my BRACELET ENVY POST.
Just as I was about to tell them to keep talking I could listen to them all night UBER showed up. I said good night and floated into the car as the driver opened the door. As we drove to the hotel I could not help but to reflect on not only how far I have come but how far society has evolved also.
I went to a lovely party last Saturday night hosted by two of my fellow CHIC members in their new home. Their home overlooks the ocean but it was about 40 miles from where I was staying for the weekend. I decided to rent a hotel room close by rather than drive back to where I was staying. Several things contributed to my decision besides drinking at the party. I was wearing a red blazer and high heels which would not help my field sobriety test although I would look great.
The big decision was do I get ready then drive to the party dressed or pack everything I need and get ready at the hotel? Knowing it was a virtual certainty that I would leave at least one crucial item behind I opted to get ready then drive to the party. Where the “You’ve come a long way baby” comes in is that I did it in broad daylight. Twenty years or so back I would never have considered it but, my confidence has steadily grown over the years.
I wore a black knit skirt with a black vee neck tank under a red one button blazer. Black patent 3 1/2 inch pumps and nude stockings with an over sized black patent purse. I also wore by Godiva’s Secret short blonde wig with roots. Most CHIC members attending wore red dresses along with the hosts. After checking the bag of guy stuff I was taking for the morning after the party 30 times to make sure I had everything I was off. I strutted through lobby of hotel #1 around 4:00pm waving at the desk clerks as my heels clicked on the floor.
The drive down went great toll booths and all and now it was time for another decision. Do I check in to hotel #2 first then go to the party of wait until after the party. Even though my confidence is at an all time high checking in around eleven thinned out the guests in the lobby and made more sense.
After the party I headed for the hotel found a parking place and walked to the front door. I had to stand there waiting for a minute or so because you need either a room key or wait to be buzzed in. They opened the door and welcomed me in saying hello mam can I help you. I replied yes and gave them the name the reservation was under along with a credit card in a fem name. He then asked for me ID and I complied giving him my real driver license. He glanced at them both then returned them saying “sign here sir”. I thought about correcting him but I thought it was so funny that he switched pronouns without missing a beat.
The next morning I showered and left as Duke meeting up with two other CHIC members for a round of golf as guys. I think the hotel staff is still looking for the attractive blonde to come down stairs.
Women’s clothing for crossdressers is not as simple as it may seem there is much to consider depending what your goals are. Are you trying to pass as a woman in public or just blend in without attracting attention? Either way what you should wear depends where you intend to wear it. Summer in Las Vegas or winter in Seattle will be very different in addition to day or evening, casual or formal. Once you have all that sorted out now comes the difficult part which is what looks good on you.
Another school of thought is I don’t care how it looks I just want to wear it. Those in this category buy what they want, wearing it where ever they want, when ever they want. Maybe they are fetish or exhibitionist crossdressers so it is the article of women’s clothing that is important not passing. From my experience it takes them about a half hour to get ready to go out. If I see them coming I cross to the other side of the street and look the other way.
My goal is to look good passable or not and want to achieve it every time I present in public. Most women wear toned down makeup for daytime along with lower heels or flats. Jewelry is minimal and not flashy. Pants are preferred with tank tops weather permitting over dresses and skirts. A long sleeve blouse or light jacket over the top of the tank. Everything in the casual range like most everyone else. The fabrics and colors should be subtle and fit properly. For daywear looking good depends on your choices.
I gave up passing a long time ago and concentrate on blending in to some degree . Maybe trying not standing out so much would be a better choice of words. I am under six feet but over 200 lbs. so I try to look thinner dressing in layers and dark colors. Light blue jeans and white blouse with a dark open jacket is very slimming. The viewers eye will focus on the what blouse and the vertical lines created by the jacket. I have switched to shorter hair teased high on the top making me a little taller but thinner too.
When crossdressed I am always in skirts and sometimes dresses with hose and heels. The skirt is usually a lighter color than the top or jacket. The top is usually solid black with a vertical zipper unzipped to the breast. If I wear a blazer normally it is a one button so the deep Vee accentuates the vertical slenderizing lines.
Dark colors on the upper body make it appear slimmer while lighter colors on the lower body are only for contrast. Crossdressers typically are slender below even after adding hip pads. I always wear heels at night. Normally 3 1/2 inch heels and rarely 4 inch depending on the occasion.
Some crossdressers have broad shoulders (ME) so dark colors on top will make them seem narrower. Horizontal stripes will make my shoulders seem wider so I keep the stripes below the waist. Square neck lines or off the shoulder looks create the same horizontal line problem again. Scoop or Vee neck tops work great along with scarves, anything that creates a vertical line.
Tight is different than fitted which contours the body leaving room where needed. Tight is absolutely form fitting which some call body con because it hugs every curve on the body. I can’t remember ever being able to get away with this look and am too old for it now anyway. If the crossdresser is built slender with little or no muscle definition many can get away even if they are older. Most men are muscular to some degree and if they are well defined this tight look will give you away. People will see muscles first and look closer to see if it is one of those body builder women. Most will see a muscular guy in women’s clothing. Fitted makes more sense unless attention is your goal.
Designers of women’s clothing have a target market they expect to sell to so the colors, cut, patterns and over all style are geared to a certain group. The younger the woman the tighter the look and the more skin shows with the size range being limited to smaller sizes. When the age increases less skin shows, the hemlines drop and the sizes increase along with the prices. I have heard it said that your age plus or minus a decade is a good rule of thumb and I think I follow it at least to some degree. I am over 60 so I might change my mind in a few years.
When you are out in public dressed in women’s clothes people will form an impression of you based on what they observe. If you wish to influence that impression as I do then you will plan what you wear accordingly. In my case the goal is to have women be impressed by my sense of style in the clothing that I choose. To be appreciate my hair and makeup presentation knowing what it takes to get there. Finally to have an overall impression of class and elegance of me. Not saying I get there but that is what I work for none the less. Men notice too but are not interested in me or my presentation which is perfect because I have no interest in them either.
In contrast if I wore blue eyeshadow, bright red lipstick, a red and white tube top with horizontal stripes and a Kardashian style skin tight mini skirt. A pair of platform heels and fingernails that extend an inch beyond my normal nails. Topped off with a long platinum blonde wig cascading down over and beyond my shoulders. My target audience would most likely be repulsed and very likely angry thinking I was mocking them. Men might not be able to resist ridiculing me and feeling they had a license to do so based on my presentation.
I hope this is useful especially to those just venturing out for the first time and they find some women’s clothing they can feel good in.
Hold your head up, point your toes, be safe, and go enjoy yourself in the New Year.
I have heard about the City of Portland Oregon being very crossdresser friendly from folks on YELP last year. I knew there were crossdressers there but did not have a solid feel for it.
Ms. Micki became a member of the Vanity Club this year which opened access to crossdresser VC members in the area. Carolyn a local member graciously agreed to meet me for diner on Friday night and gave me some pointers on the area.
Micki Finn takes to the road
I stayed at a hotel I had been scoping out for sometime and was not disappointed at all because it lived up to my expectations.
The Hotel Deluxe was built in the early 1900’s but is meticulously maintained. The Deluxe promotes a theme of the glory days of Hollywood throughout the facility.
From the Deluxe lobby to the halls on every floor old Hollywood is the prevailing thought every where you look. Pictures adorn every available wall and speak elegance everywhere.
The food was excellent and the service was quick in addition to friendly.
Once the doorman opens the front entrance you are greeted by impressive stairs leading to the lobby where the Hollywood theme takes over.
Micki was the only crossdresser there and as usual over dressed for the occasion. I think given the theme of the hotel I should be looked at as an example of properly attire for a lady in the hotel. The weather was in the 50’s but most ladies were casual in booties and quilted coats. That doesn’t work for this it’s always dress up time for Mz Micki.
The Driftwood Room bar was of course my favorite place in the hotel with a very friendly staff. The bartenders made sure that I never had an empty glass. ( God I love that) The bartenders also make a great Cosmo. The staff takes the time to chat and make sure that you are having an enjoyable experience. That is one of the big reasons I stay in Boutique hotels almost exclusively. The room reminds me of the fancy restaurants I went to as a kid in Hollywood.
The Driftwood Room
I just thought this elevator was so cool with Mother of Pearl inlays made from Abalone shells and deep black lacquer walls. I felt like such a star!