crossdresser husband

A crossdresser husband is made up of many traits just like most men plus one. The plus one trait is the urge to cross-dress in women’s clothing. On the surface he appears to be just like many other men with similar traits.

I like to use an antennae analogy to explain different people in general above and beyond crossdressing. A car radio antenna that is folded down gets bad reception. Extending it allows you to pick up the signal better improves reception. Think of personality traits as antennae that everyone has. The higher the antennae the more prominent the trait. The lower the antennae the less enthusiasm for that trait. It may be there it is just not prominent.


I have known many married crossdresser’s over the last 40 years. Many crossdresser husbands are avid hunters, fishermen, and golfers (high antennae). They also have a high antennae for dressing as women and expressing their femininity.  However they cannot tell you much if anything about college football rankings and players (low antennae).

Some crossdresser husbands love to cook and can converse with any woman about recipes (High Antennae). Others have no interest and eat out or microwave (low Antennae). You get the idea this can be applied to any interest or trait.

The  plus trait crossdressing husband has a big interest in women’s clothing and can go further into feminine things but it depends on the antennae height. Some will never leave the house while dressed  others will do full makeup and go out on the town. They can still be good husbands, fathers, coaches, or anything else non crossdressing husbands do.


Over the years I have known crossdressers working in  pretty much every occupation you can think of. Members of my club CHIC have been airline captains, lawyers, surgeons, medical specialty doctors, pharmacists, radio show hosts (before podcasts) police officers (SWAT team) active duty military officers, business owners and company presidents in banking, manufacturing, construction, retail, engineering and real estate. We have had professional actors, musicians, scientists, teachers, and accountants.


One factor attributable to virtually every crossdresser married or not is secrecy which, starts during early childhood. Once they find out that crossdressing is not acceptable in society they attempt quitting. When that does not work it goes underground and not getting caught is paramount. This is especially true with the occupations  mentioned above which would be a tremendous loss if discovery lead to termination of employment.

I was struck by a Star Trek episode when Captain Kirk anticipating an attack ordered  “shields up” and how it applied to me. Since I first figured out crossdressing was going to get me in trouble my shields went up to protect me from exposure. It is stressful and demands a lot of your time 24/7 because you can never let your guard down. Everything you think, say or, do has to be filtered first to keep the secret. You have to be mindful of how long you look at anything female oriented to avoid attracting attention.


Part of the stress a crossdresser husband or any crossdresser goes through is the loneliness of not being able to tell anyone. Sadly some crossdresser’s never tell their wives keeping it hidden in fear of losing the one they love. If he is lucky and finds a wife that will tolerate or possibly participate in his crossdressing, it removes a great deal of stress. She can become his best friend and closest confidant.

Further stress relief can be found meeting other crossdresser’s especially if they become friends because you can lower the shields. Being able to socialize, play golf or go out to dinner with  crossdresser husband friends and not having to filter every thought is amazing.


Sadly, crossdresser groups have been on the decline for over a decade primarily because younger folks don’t see the value in them. Times have changed and we can go pretty much anywhere we want.  The safety and security they once provided are no longer desired. However, the friendship and support  they provide is still valuable to those who are members. Many wives of crossdressers have benefited from the support and comfort of being able to talk with other wives about their crossdressing husband. It is unfortunate that in the future crossdressers venturing out for their first time will have to go it alone.  My 30 plus year membership in CHIC has been very rewarding for both myself and my wife.

Just my opinion!

crossdresser trust


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