I don’t suppose its universal but many of us mature crossdresser’s reach a point where we are practicing refined crossdressing. We have reached a point where we are comfortable with who and what we are. Our crossdressing activities have evolved and in many cases so has our style of dress. In my mind I think of refined crossdressing as a whole event instead of what I am wearing or where I am going.
In the beginning it was the shoes and clothing at home behind clothes doors which finally evolved into full on makeup, wig and the works. The emphasis was still based on the fully dressed woman in the mirror looking back at me. Eventually that migrated to going out in public and seeing the lady looking back at me from the storefront window reflection. All part of the continued refined crossdressing process added incrementally as time went on.
THE REFINED CROSSDRESSER
Finally we come to a point where we reach the level of refined crossdresser, totally confident in our crossdressing style and appearance. There is no more apprehension when going out in public or to new places just the new adventure spirit. Achieving this level of refined crossdressing has taken some time and been an involved process. Now confident of our look we walk to the center of the room under the lights instead of circling around in the shadows. Refined crossdressing has now become an event in and of itself comprised of all the parts. From choosing what to wear then going out somewhere and enjoying everything from diners to theater while dressed as a refined crossdressing woman.
The final step in achieving refined crossdresser status is when you give up on trying to pass as a woman and just go out and have fun!
Nice post that mirrors my own recent experience. To me, what you have articulated marks the point at which we move from dressing like a woman to thinking like a woman. Without wanting to sound too unkind, there’s nothing that screams ‘crossdresser’ more than an outfit that’s inappropriate for the surroundings and I love the idea of putting together outfits to blend in rather than stand out.
Your final point about giving up on trying to pass as a woman is spot on but I would add a caveat and that’s that we should always do our absolute best to respect what it means to be a woman if we want acceptance. To me it’s about blurring the lines sufficiently so that few will notice and those that do will understand that we’re seeking to be accepted as who we are on their terms, not demanding that they accept us on ours.
Hi Amanda,
Thanks for your comment but we differ in a couple of areas. In my case I will never be able to think like a woman, its just not me. Also, I am a crossdresser and always overdress with no intention of blending in. I don’t put all the time and effort into getting ready to blend like wallpaper. I don’t know what it means to be a woman but respect everything about them as I admire them greatly. That is why I never dress in a way that denigrates them as in looking like a hooker. My ultimate goal is respect both given to them by me and received from them which I agree we can’t demand from anyone. If they just respect my right to dress as I please without comments I don’t care if they accept me.
Thanks again,
Micki
I agree, most of us older girls will never pass, but that’s not a big deal breaker for me. Celebrating my female side and being joyous with her presentation to the world is what gives me profound happiness and satisfaction.
BINGO!!!
Hi Micki,
Yes, I know what you mean. I’ve been cross dressing permanently since 1/1/2008. (The day I transition.) It was an easy way to keep track of the day, being the first day of the year. And what a heck of a new year’s resolution.
I don’t even call it crossdressing anymore… -just dressing. 😊
Vivian
Loved this article Miki!
I endeavor to become more like you! I enjoy getting out in LV because I think more folks there expect to see something different. I still need to work on my movements, I am happy with my feminine style as you are but still feel I move like a “Guy”.
Hope to catch up with you again someday! I enjoy your company!
Beverly Williams VC400