The level of acceptance crossdressers enjoy today is far greater than ever in the past. While not 100% most of us enjoy a level of crossdresser freedom not experienced by those who came before us. It has taken a long time to accomplish by many different people contributing in their own way. However, if you refer to Stonewall as an uprising or a riot one thing is clear it marked the beginning for many of us.
I was 19 at the time and did not identify with any of it because the news sited Gay men and DRAG Queens being arrested. I did not find out who I was for another 3 years and even then, all I had was Heterosexual Transvestite. It was a label but what exactly did that mean? I looked it up in the dictionary and found it described me perfectly and I was considered a sicko! Armed with that information I went deeper into the closet knowing that if I told someone I would get the pervert label. No Transvestite or crossdresser freedom for a couple of decades into the future for me.
Fast forward about 20 years things started looking up with the internet now exploding and tons of information coming to light which I explored diligently. I still had not ever gotten fully dressed and gone out in public, so crossdresser freedom was not on my radar. To be honest I probably would not have gone out dressed if it was legal because of career and family concerns if discovered. Gay Men, DRAG Queens and Lesbians never stopped pushing for more acceptance and freedoms but crossdressers from my experience were not a major presence at the time. I am sure in places like New York and San Francisco they were fighting the battle it just wasn’t making the news.
My launch and the beginning of my crossdresser freedom experience really started in the early 1990’s when I first learned of a group in Orange County California called PPOC. It stood for Powder Puffs of Orange County and was open to anyone wanting to dress up. They had free changing rooms for those needing them, but I was not comfortable dressing with strangers. The Texas “T” Party in San Antonio Texas followed along with others like California Dreaming, Southern Comfort and Colorado Gold Rush Conventions. All were held in hotels with 500 to 800 attendees, so crossdresser freedoms were provided that were not available in public situations.
The conventions were great for a couple of days but the rest of the year you were on your own. When I first joined CHIC most of the monthly meetings were at member’s private homes where you could be yourself. Over time that changed as members moved out of town or just moved on with their lives. The search for a monthly gathering place led us to primarily Gay restaurants who were very accepting and accommodating to us. It was at these establishments that I learned more about their own struggle for acceptance in society which is most likely why they were so kind to us. We continued to go to these places enjoying the crossdresser freedoms availed to us until they closed for various reasons, or we found closer venues.
Over time we migrated to mainstream restaurants willing to serve crossdresser’s where we made our contribution to promoting acceptance of crossdressers and other non-conforming people. We called it outreach and eagerly talked with primarily women who were curious and came forward with questions. Their husbands and boyfriends were just as curious but afraid to be seen with crossdressers. It was very rewarding crossdresser freedom to actually see that we were having a positive impact on these women who were enjoying the conversation. I personally had more than one gentleman come and collect his lady friend who had abandoned them for our conversation.
Today we regularly frequent these places and interact with the other patrons who know us as just well-dressed customers. The picture above with Erica was taken at Bobby Van’s in Washington DC just blocks from the White House where Maria Bartiromo of Fox Business was seated across from us. How is that for crossdresser freedoms? In the beginning they were astonished to find that we were married with children and grandchildren. Now they know we enjoy the same sports and hobbies as they do but we are better at makeup and fashion. It is such a joy to express our crossdresser freedom being ourselves and interacting successfully with others. I also think that closeted crossdressers either seeing us or hearing about us were made aware they could also experience crossdresser freedom and go out dressed.
I also have to mention that CHIC has maintained a speaker’s bureau for most if not all of their almost 50 years. Members have spoken to many government officials, military members, police, fire, colleges and universities both public and private. In fact, I spoke with a professor a few years back who credits one of CHIC’s speakers with her decision to change her career to specialize in Human Sexuality. After attending a lecture as a student by the CHIC speaker, she was so moved by the crossdresser freedom experience she changed her major. That was over 20 years ago, and CHIC now speaks to her college classes on a regular basis.
Regardless of when you launched or even if you are yet to launch and played no role in the advancement of our crossdresser freedoms you can make your own individual contribution. Every time you are out in the public eye while dressed people are evaluating you. I don’t use the word judge because that will come after the evaluation is finished. Assuming that you do not pass which is most of us and the fact that they are evaluating a guy in a dress is something pretty much nobody cares about. The younger the person the less they care about it other than how does it affect them. People are not offended anymore for the most part by men dressed as women. That said people are most definitely offended by the actions of others regardless of their age. Your contribution to crossdresser freedoms can be presenting the most positive example of crossdressing you can when out in public. If you do, they will evaluate and then judge you favorable and the rest of us along with you!
