Crossdresser goodbye is something that occurs every day around the world and has been with us forever. I am not trying to be dramatic with this introduction, it’s just that I don’t know any other way to put it. I use the term crossdresser goodbye to address something I have both experienced and observed for many years. When a crossdresser passes away in most cases they just vanish never being heard from again. In my observation their friends are not invited to the funeral. In many cases even made aware of the crossdresser’s passing. I have seen e-mails from people searching for information on a crossdresser who stopped responding to e-mails. They are concerned and reaching out to anyone who might have some information on their friend. Most never know what happened, no crossdresser goodbye just wondering. Being a member of a group or social club where people know each other’s private lives. Especially, if they socialize away from crossdressing makes information more available. I think in the majority of cases the crossdresser simply vanishes, so friends and acquaintances eventually assume they have passed. They deserve better but that’s just the way it is there is no crossdresser goodbye.
Last month I learned of my friend Espy Lopez passed away after a long illness. She was a friend for over 30 years, and I was fortunate to be in the loop of friends who were notified. Espy and I did not have matching tattoos or anything but shared growing up just 6 months apart in Southern California in the 1960’s heyday. In addition to the closeness in age we were both crossdresser’s which created somewhat of a bond. In those days there was no pride, stonewall or anything like today. A guy sharing with another guy that you were a crossdresser created a mutual vulnerability. Both of us were employed in the aerospace industry and would probably lose our jobs if word got out. We met in the early 1990’s when she was assigned to interview me for membership in CHIC where she was a member. We remained friends ever since although seeing less of each other in recent years. It was during that interview when I learned of Espy’s military background of which she was justifiably proud.
During the interview she shared her service as a U.S. Army Ranger in Vietnam, and I believe she said two tours of duty. I remember seeing a picture of her in uniform on a table in her home. Her uniform was covered with emblems and ribbons I am not familiar with. It was clear that she was an accomplished soldier.
Another of her accomplishments was her company Classic Curves international that has been around for over 30 years. She started with hip/ butt pads to give guys curves. Back then crossdressers were using an electric carving knife borrowed from mom or the wife. They carved up a foam furniture seat pad to make hip pads. When I asked her how she figured it out she explained how she used a computer at work to overlay a male image over a female image. It showed where a guy needed padding and how much. She noted that a woman’s shoulders and hips were close in size. She measured your shoulders which is how she knew what to make for you. At first, she had you come to her shop with your favorite dress so she could custom shape the foam pads to you. Putting on protective gloves taped to her arms along with an industrial breathing filter the process began. She turned on the industrial sanding machine and began to contour the foam pad to your shape with fit checks from time to time. You left with an amazing figure. Ever the inventor she kept thinking of ways to improve the product and gel pads came a year or so later. By now she had progressed to using molds to cast the pads in several sizes which fit most guys just fine. I have one of the first sets of gel molded pads that she made in her shop with another invention she conceived to heat the silicone. It looked like one of the old Igloo coolers common on construction sites which was a galvanized steel barrel. Espy modified it to cook silicone and poured me a set of pads on the spot which, I still have and use today.
If you go to her site Classic Curves International, you will see how her company evolved with more clever products over the years. Espy through her company, products, and outreach to others via phone or at one of the many conventions she did make a wonderful contribution to the Trans community.
She will be remembered fondly by myself and others every time we pad up to go out En Fem for an evening out. Espy was a pioneer in the crossdresser padding industry with her veteran owned American made products.
And so goes my crossdresser goodbye to Espy.
Thanks to all of you who responded with your crossdresser goodbye thoughts for Espy.
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Beautiful written!
I too, met Espy in a similar way. I will never forget standing in her garage at her house as she measured me for my Classic Curves. She made me feel like “a normal person” as we both had had similar macho work experiences and our crossdressing in common. I had not seen Espy in a few years and as she fell away I never got to say goodbye. With a social media account I notice how this happens as we have freinds and eventually we find that they dont reply anymore and we send out the call of are you ok only to find that they are no longer with us. Its really unfair for the left behind and not being able to let the one who is on to another place that we cared for them and had enjoyed their company, camraderie, and sisterhood. To echo Micki, Espy the Pioneer in USA Veteran made products. ”HOOAH” Soldier! “HUA,” an acronym for “heard, understood, acknowledged.” RIP my freind and one of my first crossdressing mentors.
Hi I’m Bobbie are you The Natasha from Irvine a long time ago?
OK, this is a bit weird! My software says I am replying to Natashia who is asking if I am the Natasha from Irvine long time ago. So are you Bobbie or Natasha?
wondering,
Micki
I never had a chance to meet Espy but we did communicate in chat rooms where she was friendly and thoughtful in our talks. She will be missed. Thank you for your service to our country and to the CD/the community. RIP
Thank you Micki , as you know Espy and I had a lot in common , she was the one that got me into the club as well , I remember meeting her at Esprei in port angeles many years ago , as a ranger she always adapted and over come any situation, none of us escape the angel of death my she Rest In Peace
Susie
Espy was great! So friendly, helpful. We never met but over the phone for many years. Her curves made my small frame truly believable and launched many years of enjoyment.
I never met or talked to Espy, but I know of her great impact on our world with Classic Curves. She saw a need for us, and she met it. She sounds like a great lady. As long as we still have Classic Curves, and buy pads from them, we are in a small way, honing her memory as a fellow crossdresser, and as long as we can breath air in countries that are free we honor her service a Ranger. May Espy Rest In Peace and the memory of her accomplishment will live on.
Remember driving down to Long Beach to her shop after completing a long 12 hour shift to be fitted. Was drenched in sweat and embarrassed. Espy sprayed me with a ladies deodorant and went to work fitting me lol 😆 Still have the set I purchased from her and am thankful she didn’t shoosh me away for being unprepared.
I had the honor of knowing Espy as both a close friend and an incredible human being. I still remember meeting her and getting measured for both her original foam pads and later the gel pads—ones I still have today and will always associate with her care and craftsmanship.
Espy was truly amazing. We both came from military backgrounds, and sharing stories with her created an instant bond built on respect, humor, and understanding. I was also proud to be part of CHIC for many years before moving to the Midwest, and even after relocating, I was fortunate to continue attending “away” trips—most often to the SF Bay Area. Those trips meant a lot to me. I especially missed getting together with the girls, including the wives, and the sense of family that Espy helped create.
She left a lasting impression on everyone she met, and I will always be grateful for her friendship and the memories we shared.
Godspeed, Espy. You will be deeply missed and never forgotten. 💙
Hi Jo Ellen,
Such a fitting and very nice tribute to Espy that she well deserved. I also still have my 30 year old gel pads she made for me. They are virtually indestructible and have been through the grinder more than once.
You just missed the CHIC 50th anniversary party last month but, so did I.
Take care,
Micki
I was a friend of Espy.
I met her in her Long Beach garage and we became great friends. She fitted me for a Veronica too and a couple of her breast devices and she gave me one of Veronica fours with the gel pads. They were pretty heavy. I still have the Veronica to and it is one of the greatest things I ever got from her. She was a wonderful person. We had a lot of fun together. I know she was in the vanity club, but I never was part of that but I could call her up and she would say come on down. I can take care of you. What a wonderful lady beautiful human being. God bless You Espy.
Bobbie
Hi Bobbie,
Your experience with Espy is not unique as she was open and outgoing with everyone long before she invented Classic Curves International. My friendship with her predates the CCI as she was the CHIC board member assigned to do my interview for membership in the club circa 1992. She gave me a thumbs up for membership and a 30 year friendship developed based on our 6 month age difference, aerospace background along with surfing and other stuff. I knew her through good times and bad but remember her smile and genuine enthusiasm when greeting us gurlz where ever we met.
RIP Espy
One of a kind.
This is really incredibly sad.
I live across the Atlantic — which makes me a customer very, very far away from Espy’s former HQ on Long Beach, CA. Like so many others who didn’t have the pleasure of meeting Espy in person, I found out about her through some mid-1990s crossdresser websites — the CD community were early pioneers, and so was Espy and her amazing technology.
I will certainly miss her. To this day, people are always amazed at my figure. They love to touch my gel hip pads — beneath the clothing & shapewear, of course — and once someone even spanked them just to see how it felt like. I yelled in surprise — of course the gel pads will transmit the impact (even if it naturally gets muffled) — and so did the perpetuator: he was shocked that they felt so “real”! Then he wanted to know if I had undergone some sort of surgery, and I had to explain everything from the start…
There are many stories like that. I used to share them with Espy, when ordering something new from her. Many of her inventions are really ingenious, although it’s the gel pads that beat everything, technologically speaking. And yep, my gel pads are also close to 25 years old (recently with less use, I’m sad to say), and still pretty much useful — she developed this kind of very thin grid-like material, like a super-strong net, to give the pads some sort of structure. Similar, in fact, to how concrete is reinforced with steel or fiberglass. I have never seen anything close to that, but it sure holds for an eternity, especially considering that you’re going to sit on top of them!
Oh well. Espy was an extraordinary person for sure; I had absolutely no idea about her military experience, but I’m not surprised in the least: she was that kind of person, always ready to do her service on behalf of others. She did that for her country; and then she did that for the CD community world-wide.
She’ll be missed, but not forgotten! 💪