CROSSDRESSERS BLENDING

I see comments online by crossdressers stating their goal to blend when they are out and about. I also see crossdressers seeking advice on buying wigs as to color, style and length. Many share their preference for a particular style which in my humble opinion guarantee they will not blend in public. In the interest of full disclosure for those not familiar with my writing, I never attempt to blend or pass in public but am not biased against those who do.

From what I have observed crossdressers purchasing their first wig look for some source of inspiration or influence to guide them in their selection. I know that was the case with me purchasing my first couple of wigs and all were disasters. I wasn’t even trying to pass just look good in my own view because going out in public was unheard-of in those days. I was in my 20’s so looking good meant looking like one of the women I found attractive. I may or may not have known them and most likely just saw them in public and was attracted to them. I just liked the whole look and wanted to emulate it.

Following that very expensive process resulted in me looking like Dracula, a poodle, and a Wookie. I found out the hard way that my process was flawed and needed to be scrapped. A few years later I joined a social club for crossdressers called CHIC where others who walked the path before me shared their knowledge and experience.

First forget about that girl from high school or college who was such an inspiration to you especially if it was 30 years ago. She has updated her look by now and has most likely gone for an easier style like most middle aged women. She might even have a touch of gray or white in her hair these days. So if blending is your goal emulate her now not the way she was back then. I’m betting she will look even better today especially if you married her!

Second get help from a professional wig resource such as a crossdressing makeover provider or a wig store. Keep in mind that they are going to try to sell you something which is not a bad thing unless they are trying to just reduce inventory. This is where getting a recommendation from other trusted crossdressers is very valuable. Ask questions and listen to the answers carefully because their goal is to make you happy which is not necessarily a good thing at this point. If they sell you what you think you want instead of what you need you will most likely walk out happy but not with the best look for you.

If you go into the wig resource and when they ask you what you are looking for you answer the question differently you might be much happier with the outcome. Instead of answering with a color, length and, style, say you are interested in something that compliments your face. This puts the professional in charge and relieves them of the pressure of offending you with their suggestions. If you are open to their recommendations it might be a game changer for you. It is always best to go in fully dressed and having the correct foundation is important to get the best outcome.

Doing all this dressed may sound impossible but it is why I interviewed Amy at Just You Boutique in Las Vegas a couple of years ago. She has everything you need either at her place of others near her. All you need to do is get there which is pretty easy for everyone. Here is the POST I wrote about Just You.

I have used professionals for many years and enjoyed the results even racking up a few compliments over the years. However, it was ultimately my wife’s influence that led to my radical changes in wig styles a few years back. She has consistently been a major influence on my style and I always consult her on what I plan to wear along with accessories. Before leaving for Diva Las Vegas for instance I lay everything out for her in the family room by outfit. Skirt, jacket, shoes, purse, jewelry and sometimes wig for the outfit. I am a good student so she does not make many changes anymore but I value her input.

My wife subtly encouraged me to wear shorter wigs in lighter colors for years and I resisted based on my earlier experiences giving my football helmet analogy. That all changed one night when we returned to our hotel room from the club Christmas party. She called me into the bathroom and demanded I try on the short rooted blonde wig we bought her the day before. I complied and she put it on me and no surprise I did not like it and reached up to pull it off. She stopped me and said to give her a second and she proceeded to tease and style the wig higher.

What happened next truly astonished me when as she added the height to the wig my face seemed to narrow. The slight change made me really like the look and the rooted blonde color worked great with my makeup that night. She was so sneaky with her approach but ultimately happy that her patience over the years finally prevailed and I was endorsing once again her ideas. The downside for her was that I got rid of almost every one of my old wigs in longer darker styles and replaced them. Being right isn’t always cheap.

I don’t have very many pictures from years ago with the darker longer wigs but the one below on the left contrasted with the ones on the right are more recent and hopefully demonstrate my point.

Over the years I have gotten occasional compliments from people on both my hair and outfits but the two that made me feel the best were from genetic women I did not know. Both were compliments on the wig I am wearing in the center photo which is long bob style in light brown with streaks of gray with white around the face. Their compliments were similar and essentially said that was the perfect style for me. What was so powerful is that I had no contact with either woman prior to them approaching me with their compliment. It doesn’t get any better than that from where I sit.

Thanks Honey!

The more things you get right about your look the better your chances of blending or passing if that is your goal. If it is a fetish you are satisfying that’s fine also I think there is a little of that with all of us but most of what I have said probably won’t apply to you.